omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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