There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
