I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
