i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
