Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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