I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize