it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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