My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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