Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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