she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
