did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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