the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
