you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
