'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
how drunk are you?
Several
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
