God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
