he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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