I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
