we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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