I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
