Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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