let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize