I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just cropdusted the office
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
