Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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