I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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