I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
