He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
