goodnight i made you a song goodbye
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
