did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
