I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
