I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize