I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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