it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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