omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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