That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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