forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
