oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize