My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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