Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I pour the whiskey from now on
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
