i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
