After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My dick has a subreddit
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
