i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
please don't ironically join a cult
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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