turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
