How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize