I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
