She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
