Buhtt sex?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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