David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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