yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
