is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize