At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Drake has all the answers
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
