thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
