It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
