Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
