WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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