I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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