"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
