you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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