Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
