Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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