Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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