do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
