Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
