Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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