It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
