I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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