I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
