Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
