You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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