She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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