Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
