im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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